I returned to the Rock of Cashel on the second day.
Sort of. The free part, where you walk on the path outside.
On my way back the sheer drop gives me vertigo. I walk on the close side, my hands start trembling.
"Wait," I think.
"I'm afraid of heights? I walked the Cliffs of Moher- the part past the sign warning you not to go beyond. All the way to the lake.
I climbed Skellig Michael (all 365 steps) with my camera bag and tripod tipping my balance point in strange directions.
And I'm still weary over a steep drop?"
I'm mad that I don't change better than that.
Somehow I relate it to my stress in social situations, the times where I shut down. The fear of heights may always be there. But it's not stopping me from seeing this part of the Rock. And from laying down at the cliffs looking into oblivion. Or climbing to the top of Skellig Michael.
What makes me do this?
Pictures. HDR. Castles. Creating atmospheric pictures that make my imagination go wild.
Exploring. Meeting people.
And it's worth it.
Maybe I can get over my other fear too, if I feel about it the same way I do about taking pictures..
I just have to believe I can create something beautiful from it. Then all the worry becomes inconsequential, right?
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