From the Rock I wonder...

I returned to the Rock of Cashel on the second day.

Sort of. The free part, where you walk on the path outside.
On my way back the sheer drop gives me vertigo. I walk on the close side, my hands start trembling.

"Wait," I think.

"I'm afraid of heights? I walked the Cliffs of Moher- the part past the sign warning you not to go beyond. All the way to the lake.

I climbed Skellig Michael (all 365 steps) with my camera bag and tripod tipping my balance point in strange directions.

And I'm still weary over a steep drop?"
I'm mad that I don't change better than that.


Somehow I relate it to my stress in social situations, the times where I shut down. The fear of heights may always be there. But it's not stopping me from seeing this part of the Rock. And from laying down at the cliffs looking into oblivion. Or climbing to the top of Skellig Michael.

What makes me do this?

Pictures. HDR. Castles. Creating atmospheric pictures that make my imagination go wild.
Exploring. Meeting people.
And it's worth it.

Maybe I can get over my other fear too, if I feel about it the same way I do about taking pictures..

I just have to believe I can create something beautiful from it. Then all the worry becomes inconsequential, right?

Farewell Emerald Isle..

It's gone much too quickly.

The highs and the lows, meeting fantastic people then missing them, the times I ask myself, "What am I doing?" ...

it's become a microcosm of life.



And still I wonder if I am crazy for doing this trip..

Crystal Teardrops..

Listening to Castlevania music while exploring a castle is quite possibly the dorkiest thing I've ever done.

The little things..

Doing laundry is more exciting when you realize you have only three shirts, four underwear, and four socks.

Cashel and a memory long forgotten under Cerulean Skies...

From the top of Cashel I changed my attitude. Instead of stopping at every moment setting up a picture, I put my camera away. I walked, following mysterious paths. I dodged the tour group. It's hilly. And a weird thing happened: I enjoyed it more than any other site.

Experience it first, then take photos, haha.


Suddenly I imagine myself here long ago with someone, a childhood friend maybe? We're running and chasing each other and it's like a vision. Maybe more of a feeling, an echo if you will.

I feel compelled to go down the hill. I feel drawn, like a pulled string, yet I'm on the other end doing the pulling. Awkwardly balancing my camera bag and tripod, I stumble my way to the open green field. I see a 'z' shaped my shrubbery in the distance, no doubt marking farmers' property lines. I imagine the power one must have felt centuries ago when a sire or lord could walk out on the Rock and eye his subjects and territory. With blue skies and grazing sheep in the far hills. There's something about seeing what you have, even if it's nature's and really nobody's, but other people agree that it's yours because you're strong and can defend it. It's not even a human thing, it kind of extends from animal behavior, marking territory and such. Humans take it to a new level.

See? All this goes through my mind with one glimpse from Cashel.


So I'm drawn down the hill and I'm almost convinced I'll find something. But what? A familiar face? Her? No she can't be here. Go away memory, why does it keep coming back, here of all places?


I sense I'm close. Down the hill to the side.

My intuition is very precise, I am a kid playing on the hill with her down here by the wall. I sense comfort, peace, and I don't know why.


I come to the very spot I feel drawn to. The string loosens.



A grave. It's small and unmarked. There's a mini wreath next to it.
Next to it are two bigger graves.



A man and his wife. Graves that have descriptions of year of death, and 'survived by his wife who died in year xxxx, his daughter who died in year yyyy,' etc. Hmm those etchings were added as people died. For a sense of completeness maybe. Family was your identity back then.

Especially when people lived shorter lives.

I wonder what soul called me here, maybe the daughter is buried in that tiny grave. Maybe she triggered a memory of mine, or maybe it's just coincidence..

It Is something right out of Myst or Riven.

The steps are so steep, one wrong step and it's goodbye..


Blue skies and white clouds. Who lived here? Who dare come here?
Today, my camera and I do. Step after precarious step, preserved so for hundreds of years, built by the very monks buried here. I'm climbing on something they built, I thought. How eerie. I'll never meet them but in a way I am getting to know them, right?

I'm here, I exclaim in my mind.
Yesterday was too dangerous so no boats came. Today nature felt kind to us eager travelers.


The boat trip was surreal. Little Skellig (the island next to it) is coveted in thousands of birds.

As we left the silhouette of Skellig Michael disappeared into the haze. I wonder if the island just showed itself for us. Perhaps that is why the Monks were drawn to this place. In a time of power struggle and control, any place to practice your faith freely and meditate in a remote location, to them, was important enough to die for.

It was magical then too, for perhaps different reasons.

Portmagee, the smallest town in Ireland?

As I enter this town with one main street, a feeling of loneliness overwhelms me. I miss Doolin, I was only there for two nights. I miss talking with Jennene and trying her amazing Potato dish and tea. And walking down the street with the sun shining, and the cozy hostel by the street. I miss the cliffs.

And I wish I had cycled with Neeve and company. Now I'm in this strangle little town and everyone at the hostel is older than me.

Regret, go away. Even in Ireland my tendencies follow.
In a weird way it's reassuring. I know what things are on me to change.


I do however meet a Scotsman, and his accent is very refreshing. I tell him my last name, haha. He is going to the island too.


Skellig Michael, you are in my sights..

Kerry - a forest that envelops you, and an odd beach..

I took the car ferry to cross the River Shannon from a suggestion by Kaeylea. I'm glad I did, saved me an hour of driving around it, and it's just cool to take a ferry and watch my GPS displaying the car icon floating in the water.

Immediately after entering Kerry and the beginnings of the Ring of Kerry, I drove past the water and it looked surreal, like a painting. It's as I'd the mud banks were carved. Little grooves or platforms just off the coast, which was covered in stones and seaweed. I saw little openings in the brick wall to the coast. I stopped my car and on the other side of the road saw an inviting opening to the forest path.

It was shady and friendly and I had to go in.

It is the most magical, peaceful walk I've had in Ireland. I came to a wall with a lush green field on the other side. I took pictures. Duh!

A woman walked past, "Nice day, isn't it?"
"It is grand!" I yell awkwardly, trying to sound Irish but kind of failing, haha.

I don't care. This is different.

I find the beach type thing. It's a little surreal. There's an odd tree by its lonesome on the side of the road. I wonder if trees get lonely. It looks distinguished, like a guard or a wise soul. It's leaning over the side. Guarding the beach's secret? Hello tree. You look grand!


I venture out on the stones and sand and mud and seaweed until the high walls above sea line (that hide cars on the road) and sea smells make me feel half lonely. I return to my car and head to Portmagee.

There ain't no room for regret on this trip

I bite into my scone as two Australian girls and Neeve head out to cycle to the cliffs.

They invite me but I say no, and I kind of regret it.
I was all set to drive three hours to Portmagee and see Skellig Michael (It's about a 40% chance I'd get to see it, they only land when the weather is good) and this is where the planning Paul and opportunistic Paul clash.

Neeve said something during breakfast, saying it's better to stay in one place and enjoy versus going from A to B because it becomes a blur. I find that starting to happen, and now I wish I stayed one more day in Doolin to enjoy and cycle and get to know these cool peeps.

But Skellig Michael calls, and that's why I'm here. Maybe in Doolin time stands still but on that remote island, time goes backwards. Monks lived there. Built steps up that sheer cliff of an island. To call it a safe haven is ironic.

I'm going. You can't stop me.

Not even a fairytale can keep me from going.
Goodbye Neeve. Goodbye Doolin. I leave my regrets at home.

We go south! I yell to no one in particular.

Neeve, a tale..

Or however you spell it.

Nieve is the name of a pretty Irish girl I ate breakfast with at a hostel in Doolin.
Haha I don't even know how to spell it, but it's pronounced 'Neeve.'

"It's the name of an Irish legend," she tells me. About a princess who runs away with her husband to an island where time stands still.

The sun was shining in the hostel's 'backyard,' and a gentle breeze blew. Tunics and dresses flapped on the clothesline, almost appearing alive. In Ireland, I'd believe it..

"They were happy," she tells me, "but one day the husband misses his family and wants to visit them."

My ears want to perk up so badly but I don't have the little muscles to do that so I give her the Spock inquisitive eyebrow raise.

"Neeve urges him to take her horse, and to not let his feet touch the ground of the mainland because he will cease to be youthful, the spell shall break if he does.

I'm on the edge of my picnic bench as Neeve fixes her golden hair and continues the tale.
She looks young and right out of a fairytale, I wonder how true this story is..

"Back home, the husband finds that his town is different; buildings, culture, people. He recognized no one. So much time had passed that his family and friends were long dead. In disbelief he falls to the ground near his home and immediately withers to dust, as his time has long come.

Back on the island, Neeve knows what happened since her husband did not return.
She continues to live on the island, and becomes queen, and Neeve (the real one sitting in front of me) is smiling as if it's a happy ending, haha.

"It's nice to meet you, Queen Neeve," I bow.
She laughs.

Now that is a breakfast in Ireland.

Doolin is my favorite place in Ireland..

Imagine this: a perfectly lush green hill with grazing sheep. Gold sunshine and yellow flowers. Add chirping birds.

This is the street of my hostel -Rainbow hostel. And there might as well have been a rainbow.

Matti the owner asked, "single or dorm room?" Tough choice, the dorm beds looked comfy with their soft blankets and genuine wooden frames. But the single had a big Queen bed. And I didn't want to worry about securing my stuff so I got the single.

He handed me my medieval-style key and that was my bed for the next two nights. Woo!


I enter the kitchen and see a girl cooking stuff. I learn she's Australian. She is traveling alone too. It's funny how traveling makes it so much easier to meet people. They ask, "How bout a walk?" or "How about a cup o tea?" and there's no pressure because we'll be gone on a day or two. It's as if we live 'now' because as nomads we know things will change soon.

When things constantly change we value companionship all the more.

We talked about life, dreams, working conditions, movies, books, and everything.
We walked down the street and for the first time I could enjoy just 'being' in Ireland without worrying about finding the perfect picture. That was for tomorrow, haha.

She says, "There's an abbey across the field from the hostel, wanna check it out?"
I nod profusely. My urban explorer's heart beats with life.

Jumping the rock fence was the easiest part..


Dodging cattle fences and coming across what might have been a guardian bull, I rolled my sleeves up and prepared to either run like a coward or climb the abbey wall, depending on the look the bull gave.

It's ok, the bull might have been a cow and it was behind a fence and it wasn't interested in us, but you know how the Borg behave..all misleading..


The Abbey.
Is amazing. Huge bees lurk nearby. They aren't aggressive, but they're plump and noisy. I imagine they are guarding the graves. Their buzzing is almost hypnotic.

"They are trying to stop us from disrespecting the tombs," I remark.
"I rather think the dead like to be visited."

She has a point, haha.

I take pictures of the beautiful, decaying abbey and listen to the bees. It's eerie.
Soon we find a path -a paved road- back to the hostel.

Sometimes I think she knew about that but wanted to go the more adventurous way.
I'm glad she did. :)

My car is like Batman

Well, the Batplane.

I drove to Donegal (one hour), saw the castle, drove to Cong (two hours), saw Asheford Castle -they teach falconry lessons there. And saw Cong Abbey.

Ended the drive to Galway (45 mins) Now that's a day of driving!

Stayed in a hostel there. Room was near the girls' bathroom and
all three roomates were female - who do they think I am, a girl?
I'm not complaining, I get along better with girls anyway (when I'm not awkwardly mumbling or scaring them with mean Filipino stare) but anyway one of 'em knew French, Spanish, and Italian because she lived in those countries at ages 2, 4, and 6 so she's super fluent. I asked for tips on my French. She laughed at my attempts. Sad face.

'Mont Sainte' is pronounced "Mon Saint" -silent t after n. Duh, Paul! *slaps forehead*
France hasn't seen the likes of Paul as of yet..


But whatever.. I can make noodles. Be scared.

Typing on my iPod is rather annoying

But I'll do it anyway.

First, I'm in Portmagee. More on that later.
Let's rewind (zippity sound effects) and go back to Coleraine.
So the next day I head off in my car to Donegal.

This represents a huge step. Why?
Donegal feels as if it's in the middle of nowhere, loopking at a map.

The scared part of me said, "don't do it; you'll get a flat tire." and the closest thing I want to see after it is two hours away.

"c'mon, Paul," the deeper voice inside me said, "you always wanted to drive around Ireland, from Dublin to Dublin, in three weeks time. This is your journey.

Only you can do this. Who am I, Frodo?


So I set out and finally found myself where? At Donegal Castle. I did part of my dream. Now to finish it.

...Finish everything.

A dinner worthy of the north..

After seeing all the things in the North, I filled up on gas, put air in my right front tire (that looked a bit low), bought an Irish ham sandwich and chips (and Snickers), got some noodles, and returned to the hostel and whipped up my dinner in the kitchen.

I'm using my super-compact plate!

Look at me. I'm a chef.

Now those are some fine noodles.

Noodles quietly enjoying the day.


and I ate them. I hope they still enjoy their day in my stomach.

I conquered Northern Ireland

I went to Giant's Causeway the other day with Kieran. But I left feeling something was undone. There was another outcrop of stones calling me to visit them.


So I returned.

There's a huge hill of green grass next to the Causeway. As I left five kids walked up a steep (and I mean STEEP) hill to the top. I'm thinking....I'm in this magical world where hexagonal stones stare out at sea and a surreal hill-cliff thing hangs nearby, and I'm walking to the car to drive to Mussenden Temple, which itself is placed near a cliff with a perfect view of the beach below.

Where Am I?


The Emerald Isle is where I am. This is why I'm here. Giant's Causeway is one of my main attractions ever since Beth told me about it. The temple...I saw on a guidebook cover.


This temple is something right out of Riven.

and it overlooks this

I conquered Northern Ireland today.

Now on to the West..

The Irish way

Claire -the hostel owner- is super nice. Tonight she said she's going for ice cream and asked if I wanted to come. Since my night plans involved things barely more exciting than obtaining maps of Donegal via my iPod, I said "sure!"

So in the car I go, passenger side. It's evening. She said she likes driving through cities at night whenever she gets into a new town, even if there's no destination. I remember feeling that way especially in Wildwood, NJ. There's something about the beach town feel at night that's...different.

But this is her town, and she told me about the motorbike races they have. They fence off the sidewalk and the public can watch. We drove over the road they use for the race. Someone usually gets injured or dies every year. Last year a local who won five races in a row died during a practice run, and it hit the town hard. She knew his sons from school trips.


Local town culture and tradition...where was this in America? I suppose it was there but....it's not. We're too big & too busy to notice such things. To me these things stand out. Like a little world within a world..


She's thinking about moving to Australia. Everyone is moving about. I'm planning on going to Donegal tomorrow. The world is like an anthill. Somehow it all works out..

There really are rainbows in Ireland :)

View from Dunluce Castle grounds

Dunluce Castle, on a cliff


These are taken from my iPod.

Ireland...

Driving through Belfast

Dunluce Arch

Stairway..

This is the view from the stairway of Kieran's top floor. He is an Irish photographer I contacted before my trip. We met and took at trip to Giant's Causeway yesterday, and he was kind enough to let me stay at his place in his son's bedroom, which was empty since he moved out.

Note the green light at the bottom. There's a stained glass window that casts wonderful light downstairs.

"You have two choices for dinner." He said, "We can go to an Indian restaurant, or we can go to the grocery store and pick something up. I'll cook it, with vegetables and chips (which are fries)."

"Grocery store, and thank you," I decided.

I found a chicken-in-pie crust frozen dinner. We ate it with peas, broccoli, cauliflower, and fries. It was the best dinner I've had in a long time.


I saw Giant's Causeway. I touched one of the stones to accept the reality of being here, on the northern coast of Ireland, with these hexagonal-shaped stones gathered before me, going, "why dontcha take our picture?" haha.


Back to food though, we ate dinner and watched the soccer (football) match and then he showed me a documentary about Tom Crean, an Irish explorer who ventured to Antarctica to discover the South Pole. He never did get there, but on one trip his ship was trapped in the ice and his men left the boat. The entire ice "island" broke off and floated -literally floated- away. They lived on that ice chunk for a while until it made its way to a real island. They took rowboats with them and sent off with four men out of twenty four to Georgia.

The journey continues and it was an amazing tale. I won't spoil the ending. but at one point they climbed a mountain and on the other side was a sheer cliff. They were almost out of food so they had no choice. They slid down the crevice without knowing what was at the bottom. A maneuver of pure risk, and I won't spoil the ending. :)

So my first day with a car in Ireland and...

"I can do this" I told myself. "I can drive on the left. And sit on the right. Right?"

Despite my same-word rhymes my mind wondered.
"There's one way to find out.."

So I tossed my backpack in the trunk and adjusted my mirrors, turned on the Irish radio for an accent that made me feel at home, then put the car in reverse.

You know those trucks that beep when you back up? My car beeps when I do. Inwardly to me though. Does the rental car (er- hire. They call rentals here "hire"). Does the hire company not trust Americans to know when they are backing up? haha.

Beep. Beep. BEEEEEP! It beeps the closer I get to things. It's got a freakin' sensor? Hmm. A trunk-view camera would help more. C'mon Irish technology, let's do this thing.


I am going to do this. Neil Armstrong took mankind's first step on the moon. Paul you can ease out onto your first Irish road. Yes you can, little Paul, yes you can.

I'm at the car hire place. My vehicle is parked on the side of the road. I back up and try to ease outta there. Zoom. Car. I look in my mirror. The cars parked on the road are kind of blocking my view. And a truck comes out of nowhere from behind me (perpendicular) to pull onto the street.


I'm feeling uncomfortable that any car can pull out from the driveway behind me. So I do the next logical thing. (without shooting the hostage) I put myself in the driveway.

I do a three point turn to back up in the down-sloping driveway. I lie. I do a seven-point turn. Maybe even a niner.

Beep Beep beeeeeeep! "Quiet!" I yell, and I think of all the cars zooming by, how they're living the Irish life and this is me, attempting to assimilate, initiate, enter, and become one with them. (sounds Borgish?)


"I can do this." I say.
"You're taking too long!" my devil voice says.

Anyway I back up and now I'm facing the road 90 degrees. I can pull out, right? Just like walking for the first time. Forget that my sightlines are nonexistant. Let's go!


I creep up fast enough to be dangerous..
Haha..nah I creep like a turtle. At least my car ain't beepin'.

Vroom. Gas. Vrooom. Here I go. Turn right. It's clear. I'm on the road!

My GPS (Sat-Nav, they call it here in Ireland) tells me to turn right. So I do. And I stay to the left!
I can do this. I pass some city streets and the stop lights use the same colours, so I am good. Sometimes the red turns to yellow before green, as a nice "hey, I'm gonna turn green soon" thing. Even the street lights are friendly!


Fifteen minutes of driving and I got this thing.
So I'm thinking..
I'm on my way to Malahide Castle. After that maybe Mellifont Abbey but definitely Newgrange ruins. Just enough time for -POP!- gerboom gerboom gerboom.

The car felt different.
And I thought to myself, "You fool, you got a flat tire."

My feeling wasn't panic. Even with this my first flat ever. In a different country. On my own. With no knowledge of how to change it.

I knew what I did too. Being so close to oncoming traffic, I veered into the curb on my left and hit it at full speed. I see cars behind me in my mirror and oncoming cars passing me. I wonder what they thought seeing me hit the curb like that. "Some borg.." they'll think.

I wasn't panicking. I was frustrated. Now I have to figure out how to fix this and now I won't see the two things I wanted to today. This puts my whole schedule out of whack, which is fine except that I'm supposed to meet Kaeylea (my first couchsurfing host) tomorrow...and now I'll have to double-back and change my route and use more gas and blah. haha. Little things like that get me. But it's for the best.. (you'll see)


Let's do this. I pull into a gas station that comes into view. Whew.

Pull over. Look at tyre. Two punctures as big as my thumb. This baby needs to be replaced.
The car hire place says collision damage doesn't cover flat tyres since they are the driver's responsibility. I let out a "doh!" that can be heard from Scotland. But it's cool.

I call Ireland's version of AAA and they say they'll be here "within an hour and a half" to change to the mini-spare. Alright, I go in the station and ask the girl for the closest tyre place. I'm gonna have to buy a new tyre for my car after they put on the mini-spare. "There's one down the road for five minutes, on the left." I buy an Ireland road map.


The AAA-Irish version arrives. As he jacks up the car I ask questions about the tyre-changing process. I may have to do this when I'm on my own in the Irish countryside. No way am I gonna wait for someone to come out there.

He tells me and shows me where my tools are in the trunk. Mentally prepared, I venture off to buy a new tyre. I do that and finally it's 4:30 and the castle's probably almost closed I'm thinking. So where do I go now? First day driving and I did nothing. Do I go to my first lodge now? The tours are closed now and then I have to double-back later to see the castle arrghh!


I put it in my GPS just to see. Malahide Castle: 8 minutes away. Alright I'll see it from the outside then go to the lodge.

I go.

I see signs.

Here I go.


Malahide Castle.


Entrance.

I turn left.

and as I round the turn something comes into view. It's a freaking castle. I say that. Loud.

In the distance across green hills it protrudes from the natural landscape. Is this real? Am I in some sort of medieval matrix?

I exit the car and nab my camera bag and tripod and make my way across the field -which is greener than green mind you.

I traverse a flat field and suddenly the emotions in my head get to me. All the planning, the research, the hundreds of pictures that inspired me to come here, the stress of leaving my job and committing to this trip, the uncertainty -the times I almost cancelled the trip, the flat tyre, and finally this. I'm here. This is real. And now I'm seeing my first castle. Literally, tears ran down my cheek. I never felt this way before. Not like this.


I pass some trees and a mini bridge with water going under it. I get caught up with a perfect picture with those elements and go..."what am I doing, there's a castle over there!" then pull myself away.

The field is so...natural. It's hard to explain. I pass people dressed in bright colours. Kids playing frisbees. People walking dogs. It's quiet yet full of something. It feels so peaceful. I mean we have parks in the U.S. but the feeling here is different.


It's as if people are free from the binds of stress. It's as if they are simply being. Living. Being free, here, close to something very ancient.


I march up to Malahide Castle (my first castle!) and take HDR photos. Of the door. Of the gardens (from the fence) I see three wild rabbits run through the fields. I hear birds chirp. Different birds. Flowers adorn the front terrace.

I take a dramatic wide-angle shot of the door looking up. Sure, the interior is closed at 5:00pm but I don't care. The outside is enough for me. And it's sunny. People are laying on the grass. Kids are playing. I am here. Taking pictures. This is the beginning of my journey.

Welcome to Ireland. :)

My first dinner at the pub was...

none other than Stew with Irish Lamb.

I was feeling under the weather in my third day at Dublin so I treated myself to this. Yes that's orange juice and water in the background. I want to get better so I can explore! I feel better now and my posts are all out of order but it's okay. Ireland is like a time warp so why not?

Room Number One..

My dinner tonight..

A pop tart, Strawberry flavored. I brought it over from the states, haha.

And an apple that Kieran gave me. And a granola bar I picked up from Tesco
Snacks and yay I eat cheap today!

I checked in to TwentySix Backpackers today in Coleraine if you want to see where I am on Google Earth, haha.


I called to reserve and Claire (that's her name) said her 'mum' would be back soon and she left the key on the table, in a nice Northern Irish accent.

I find the place and -just like in those adventure games in haunted hotels- I see the note Claire left with my key. I'm in room number...ready for this? 1.

Just like in Return to Zork!
I'm convinced I'm the only one here. Since...there's no one else, haha.

I am taking the big bed! There's a single and queen bed so I claim the Queen. Like in chess.

It's eerie. Staying in a hostel with my key and an unknown girl named Claire and room number One.

The Emerald Isle is real

All the pre-trip stress disappered the second I entered the airport van.

For once there was no more planning.
My entire life. In my backpack.


The plane ride was a journey -a smooth one.
As we flew through the night I rested my pillow next to the window and dozed off..
When I awoke the early sun lit the clouds' edge. In a word, surreal.


Something was awaiting and I knew not what. "I'm going to a new country!" my mind exclaimed.

The captain said Ireland was below us. I couldn't tell -all I saw were clouds.
Thirty minutes later we were descending. And the island showed itself..

I took a bus to Trinity College and wandered around. Got a prepaid phone. Got lost. Got found.

My entire life is in my backpack.

I wonder what happens tomorrow?

My Backpack..

My backpack and everything I'm carrying with me weighs in at 37.8 pounds. Not too bad..

Europe Europe here I come!

Final packing, iPod Touch downloading, and hmm oh yeah I need to get sleep sometime tonight. Yeah right... :)